another thing to consider about #autism is that everyone exists in relation to their environment and that a condition is only considered “disordered” if it impedes your function.
if you think you might be #autistic, don’t judge yourself on how you handle people, places, and situations you’re comfortable with, ones with routines you can predict.
instead, examine how you react to the unknown, when something doesn’t go as planned in a space you can’t predict or control. how do you recover?
people wouldn’t know i’m autistic when i’m out with my wife or at home, not unless i wanted them to.
yesterday i was low on spoons and went to the store by myself and it took all my willpower not to break down crying there in public because the interior was all rearranged while they cleaned the floors and nothing was where it was supposed to be and it was just WRONG but i powered through and dissociated hard while the cashier tried to chat with me (i did cry in the parking lot)
@Sapphicgiraffic having to pack up and move triggers me pretty badly.
@lyliawisteria oh big same
@Sapphicgiraffic I try to find a place where I'm alone and it's quiet, and if I can't, I have a strong reaction that I end up ashamed about, because as a person who does not have a diagnosis, I should be able to control and handle myself and be perfect all the time
@Sapphicgiraffic this is a really good way to put it.
I tend to come off as "cool" and "collected" in my prime environment, doing what I do best, but in new environments, doing new things, I end up freezing all the time (trying to process new info) and it annoys ppl into thinking I'm "lazy" and _(：c 」∠ )_
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