my whole relationship to gender is very different from how it used to be. I'm trans but don't identify with it very much, not like I used to. I flip flop between feeling feminine and feeling enigmatic. I like it when people I don't know get confused about my gender. I still suffer with dysphoria, but when I don't feel feminine, it isn't there anymore because for me dysphoria exists as this expectation to fit any feminine norm and if I don't feel like a girl, that weight lifts a little.
I'm feeling weird about genderfluid/enby feels! There's this awkward intersection where like, I've been on feminizing HRT for six years, but I want a chest binder, and one of my exes took some amount of issue with my desiring one, claiming the only reason to wear one is if you hate having breasts and that fucked with me a little? like, it sowed this seed of doubt and that ppl will think I'm "detransitioning" when like, no??? no thanks, I just want more flexibility in my presentation?
mid 20s gender enigma
sleepy woodland creacher
neurodiv + sleep disorder + bone heck
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